


Out

by Darkrose517



Series: Inside Out [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: At least mentioned, Canon-Typical Violence, Coming Out, Derek Hale Needs Therapy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, It's so sad that that's an established tag..., Just let these boys be happy!, Love Confessions, M/M, Past Character Death, Post-Nogitsune, Stiles Stilinski Is So Done, Strong Language, This is honestly just a mess, Warning: Kate Argent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25926238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkrose517/pseuds/Darkrose517
Summary: Stiles and Derek finally talk about what the Nogitsune said.  It doesn't go so well, until it does.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Inside Out [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1881541
Comments: 4
Kudos: 162





	Out

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to my fic 'Inside'.

Stiles sits in front of the old Hale house. He doesn’t trust the decrepit porch not to give way under him, so he just plops down in the dirt and waits. There are still a few places where the once lush lawn still grows green. He reaches over, plucks a blade of grass and twists it with his long fingers.

He’s half way through tearing it apart when he hears the soft foot falls. He wills himself not to look up, not to scare him away.

It’s been a few months since the Nogitsune’s rampage, since his body, or not his body, he’s still not quite sure how it all worked, had killed so many people, since Allison.

He’s been doing better, moving more, dreaming less, not screaming when touched. He’s just started venturing from his house, and someone’s been following him. He knows exactly who it is. He’d know him anywhere at this point.

He hears a body lower to sit down next to him and he inhales sharply, getting a short drag of his scent; the forest, old books, and just a hint of wildfire. He almost wishes he was a werewolf, just so he could smell that heady scent everywhere the other man touched.

For once it’s Derek who speaks first. 

“Why here?”

Stiles sighs and finally looks up into those multicolored eyes.

“Thought we needed to talk. Knew you’d come out of the shadows if I stopped here.”

Pink dusts from Derek’s cheeks to his ears and Stiles smiles for the first time in too long.

“I-uh-I was just trying to…” Derek stutters, looking away from him.

“Check on me?” Stiles asks, both embarrassed and pleased at the thought.

He sighs and nods. “I just wanted to make sure you were ok, or not ok, but...better.”

“Healthier than a horse, Sourwolf.”

They both freeze at the nickname, unsure how it fits with them anymore.

“I-um…”

“I’m sorry.”

Derek’s head whips back around, confused. “What are you sorry for?”

Stiles sighs again. “I’m sorry for everything it did, everything it said, I’m sorry that it used my...feelings to threaten you like that.” He chokes out through gritted teeth, looking anywhere but at Derek.

“It wasn’t you, there’s nothing to forgive.”

Stiles shakes his head and looks down, picking at his fingers.

“But I get it, when...when she destroyed everything.” He says gesturing behind them. “All I felt was guilt, I still do. At least you didn’t choose for it to take you.”

“Derek, you were just a kid. A grieving kid at that.”

Derek closes his eyes. “Who told you...about Paige?”

“Peter, though I think his version had some careful editing.”

Derek huffed a sad laugh. “He always was creative.”

“What was she like?”

“A lot like you actually.”

Stiles looks over, shyly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin, real smart mouth.”

Stiles laughs and smiles at him.

They sit in silence for what feels like hours.

“So…it was true?” Derek finally asks.

“What?”

“That you have...feelings...for me...like that.”

Stiles has been expecting this question and still can’t think of any way to get around the truth, or if he even wants to.

“I-uh-yeah, yeah it-uh-it’s true.”

He can see Derek nodding his head next to him, but he says nothing.

They sit in silence for a long time. Stiles can feel his heart breaking as each minute ticks by.

“How’d your dad take it?”

Stiles blinks away tears. “What?”

Derek leans into him ever so slightly. “That you’re into me. Into guys.”

“Oh'' Stiles tries to remember how to think past the beating of his heart. “He was fine I guess. Kind of ignored it at first. I was...um...not exactly in a state to discuss sexual orientation.”

Derek’s mouth turns down, but he doesn’t interrupt.

“But school starts soon, we were talking about it and he asked me if I was still into ‘that Martin girl’ or if there was any other “person” that I had in mind.”

Derek laughs a little. “That reminds me of when I came out. My parents made extra sure to use neutral pronouns anytime they asked me about dating.”

Stiles head whips up. “You’re…?”

Derek smiles. “Pansexual, I guess. Gender matters a little less to born wolves, at least most of the ones I’ve met.”

Stiles tries to focus over the constant stream of “Oh my god, Derek likes guys” in his head. It doesn’t take long for that to change to “but not me”.

He must have given something away, in his scent, in his movements, in his breathing, because Derek sighs and runs a hand over his face.

“Stiles, you’re too young.”

“I’m 17, Derek and dating doesn’t exactly mean sex right away. I’m not asking you to jump me.” 

Derek doesn’t seem to know what to say. He opens his mouth and closes it again.

Stiles huffs and starts to stand. “Look if you’re not interested it’s fine. I should go.”

Derek grabs his arm and guides him back down.

“You have to know that’s not it.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know anything about how you feel, Derek? It’s not like you ever really talk to me.” 

Derek sighs, looking miserable. “Talking...it’s...not really my strong suit.”

Stiles snorts and tries to fight a slightly manic smile as Derek glares.

“Shut up.”

Stiles lets out a last huff of laughter and waits. He hopes he’s waiting for something other than crushing disappointment.

It takes Derek almost too long to speak again and his voice is so soft and broken that it startles him.

“I’ve already hurt you enough.”

It takes Stiles almost too long to respond.

“What, what does that even mean?”

Derek lets out what sounds like a sad growl and puts his head in his hands.

Stiles hesitantly reaches over and pulls his hands away. Derek lets him.

“Talk to me. I’m here. It’s just me.”

It’s hard for Stiles to believe that that makes any difference.

But it does.

“All I’ve ever done is hurt you. And Scott. Boyd, Erica”, his voice cracking on their names. “None of this would have ever happened if I had stayed away. I burn everything I touch.”

He settles into silence and waits for Stiles to say something. To leave. Maybe even to agree with him.

“Bullshit”

“What?”

“That is utter and complete bullshit, Derek!” Stiles yells, flailing, eyes blazing. “What do you really think would’ve happened if you never came back to Beacon Hills? Do you think Peter would’ve just stopped killing people or biting kids with no intention to fucking train them?”

“I…”

“We were fucked before Laura even thought of coming back. Hell, we were fucked long before then. When that evil cunt killed your family, and don’t even try to tell me that was your fault, because it fucking wasn’t; when Paige was bitten, also not your fault if Peter played as big of a role in it as I think he did; when the Nemeton was planted, long before you were born. None of this was your fault! I’m almost certain that nothing bad that has ever happened to us, to you, has ever been your fault.” 

Derek just stares at him, eyes wet, mouth open, shocked.

“You fight so hard. So goddamn hard. Like it’s your job to fix everything, to make it right. Things keep going to shit and you keep fighting! That’s why I fucking love you!” Stiles says, his own eyes wet. “Not for your body, even though, holy shit!”

Derek lets out a watery laugh.

“Not because I think I can fix you or because I’m into danger, I’m really not! No more danger! I love you because you try so hard and I want to try with you! I want to fight together! OK?”

They sit in silence as Stiles pants and he thinks that’s it. He finally did it. He finally pushed Derek too far and he’ll never talk to him again. He should’ve just shut up for once and…

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

Derek smiles at him. “Ok.”

The kiss is nothing and everything at once. Passionate and sad and slow. The culmination of over a year of tension and years of fate working towards this moment.

They pull apart, cheeks hot in the night air and Stiles tries hard to remember how to think.

“I love you too, Stiles.”

**Author's Note:**

> So it's been 3 years, but I finally made a sequel. It's not quite what I wanted, but I don't know how to fix it, so I hope you like it!
> 
> Not Beta'd.


End file.
